A Family’s Journey Through Addiction: My Father’s Struggle and Its Impact on Us
By Breeana Clark
My family at a water park—one of the few photos we have from a time when things were already tough at home.
Addiction has a way of seeping into every part of life, affecting not only the individual but everyone around them. For my family, it was my father’s drug addiction that changed everything. His struggle with pain medication in adulthood left scars that are still healing today. The trauma we experienced as a family was profound, and in many ways, it’s something we’re still working through. We lived in constant fear, learned to distrust the person who was supposed to protect us, and saw both material possessions and important relationships torn apart. The damage felt endless at times, but through the wreckage, we’ve found a way to begin rebuilding—slowly but surely.
I remember nights that were marked by unease. My dad would pace around the house, his presence looming over us, unpredictable and unsettling. It was as if the man I had once looked up to was no longer there, replaced by someone I didn’t recognize. My mom, my sister, and I would lie awake, hearts racing, barely able to sleep, knowing we were never quite safe. We survived on just a few hours of sleep each night, constantly on edge, never knowing when the next outburst would come. In those moments, it was impossible to see the positive side of him. The addiction had taken everything—our peace, our trust in him, and so much of what we had once cherished. Material possessions were destroyed in fits of anger, and once-close relationships frayed and broke under the weight of his actions. When my dad became addicted to pain medication, the shift in his behavior was jarring. He became violent—both physically and emotionally. His words became weapons, used to tear us down, and his actions, particularly financially, left us struggling. The man who was supposed to be our protector had become our greatest source of fear. The addiction didn’t just hurt us emotionally; it led to the loss of much we had worked for—the security of a home, the stability of relationships, and even trust. We had to navigate a world where everything felt fragile, constantly shifting, and unpredictable. But as much as the addiction destroyed what was around us, it also pushed us toward healing. In an attempt to rebuild, we turned to counseling and psychiatric help. It wasn’t easy; we didn’t really know where to begin or what we needed. But we knew we couldn’t carry the weight of our pain forever. We sought out creative ways to unravel the trauma, turning to practices like yoga, which became a grounding force for us. It wasn’t a quick fix, and the journey wasn’t linear, but it gave us the space to heal, even if just a little at a time. Despite our efforts, the relationship with my father remained strained. Trust, once broken, is incredibly hard to rebuild, and the fear of being hurt again lingered for all of us. Yet, we learned to lean on each other more, to rebuild the trust that addiction had shattered, and to find hope in the healing process.
For me, healing has been a day-by-day process. There are moments when I get triggered, small things that remind me of the past, and the memories come flooding back. Sometimes, I find myself spiraling into those dark places, but I’ve learned to take it one step at a time, recognizing that healing is not about getting over it all at once—it’s a constant, ongoing effort. I’ve made progress, but there are still days when the weight of it all feels heavy, and I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take the process slowly. Each day, I rebuild the foundation of trust and peace in myself, even if it's just a small step forward. Looking back, I can’t help but wish that my mom, sister, and I had come together earlier to better understand how each of us was feeling. We each carried our own burdens, but we didn’t always know how to support each other through them. If we had been more in tune with each other’s struggles earlier on, maybe we could have found healing sooner. But, I also know that there’s no perfect way to navigate such deep pain. Healing doesn’t have a clear timeline, and everyone processes it differently.
“I believe that with the right support, healing is possible—not just for the person who is addicted, but for their families too.”
At Seeds of Renewal, we’ve come to understand just how important it is to provide support to those who are healing from both addiction and trauma. We know firsthand how difficult it is to watch someone you love struggle and to have the person who should have been there to protect you become your biggest source of fear. Through our experiences, we hope to offer others the same chance to heal, to find community, and to understand that there is always hope, even in the darkest moments. Addiction affects everyone, and its impact extends far beyond the person struggling. But I believe that with the right support, healing is possible—not just for the person who is addicted, but for their families too. Even though addiction took so much from us—material things, relationships, and peace—we’ve come to realize that we still have the power to rebuild. If you or someone you love is dealing with addiction, please know that you don’t have to face it alone. There is support, there is healing, and there is hope.